Speaking and listening skills

Speaking and listening skills
In a recent post, we suggested that you should give your customers a good listening to. But what about listening skills? How do we listen ? Here are some suggestions.

Are you listening…..?

Then I’ll begin…

It seems funny to be speaking about listening when in fact this is actually writing and you are reading it.

But this is relevant, because to concentrate on what you are hearing you may need to see the speaker. Often our ears and eyes need to work together to truly listen.

We generally have to listen to learn.
Babies and young children spend a long time listening to inane babble as well as spoken words so that they can learn to communicate with those around them.
Older children listen to teachers, parents, television and music, learning and moulding their own thoughts and feelings into being the adults they will be.

We listen for our own enjoyment
All of us will have listened and enjoyed music in all its forms and got some enjoyment out of it. Listened to books being read to us, heard words said or sung that will live with us forever.

We listen to understand.
“My wife doesn’t understand me!” is a famous line for erring husbands. If we don’t talk to each other or listen to ‘both sides’ of an argument, we will never understand.

“Chinese whispers” is a children’s game which is a perfect example of what happens when you aren’t really listening. Whatever the speaker said in the first place often comes out totally different when the last person in the line reveals what they heard.

When it’s just a game nobody minds, but if this were to happen in a real workplace the outcome of misinformation and misunderstanding could be disastrous.

It has been said that when we are spoken to we will remember only 20% -50% of what was said.
Depending on the subject and how it was delivered could mean we remember even less.

How well you actually listen can have a big impact on anything you want to do.

5 ways to improve your listening skills

1. Listen to what the speaker says and try not to be become distracted.
If you are trying to listen while watching the TV, reading a book or even thinking about someone/something else -don’t!

2. Ask questions about what has been said if you missed anything. If you missed the speakers name or their initial sentences, try to concentrate on the rest and then ask for the name and information again at the end. If it is convenient ask them straight away. Don’t be worried about asking silly questions. You will look sillier if you do something wrong.

3. If you are taking instructions – repeat them.
Repeating them to yourself or the speaker is an aid for memory and lets the speaker know you understand.
Remembering and repeating; such as safety instructions for the way to use a certain machine or even how to get to a certain place, can save time

4. When speaking a person will use certain key words to get the point across.
Listen for the key words. If you need to, write them down. It is often easier to remember a few words rather than a whole sentence.

5. It is possible to only ‘half’ listen to what is being said – this is usually what we do when we stop listening and start thinking about what we are going to say next in reply. You should listen to the whole of the message then think about your reply in the pause after speaking.

6. To show that you are actually paying attention and listening appropriately you may need to show some feedback to the speaker.
Respond to what you hear with encouragement, using nods and sounds of agreement in the right place. This is where the importance of seeing when you listen comes in. It also gives the speaker feedback.

Finally, listening is an important part of effective communication. How we listen and who we are listening to affects our level of listening and the level of our response.

How you listen to the boss at work will be done in a very different way to listening to what your child at home has to say.

We need to practice our listening; not only to be aware of others  (responding with a ‘no’ when what the person really wanted was a ‘yes’ can show lack of feeling or worse), but also to have an awareness of ourselves and how we affect others simply by listening or not.

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