Saturday, July 31, 2010

The buzz phrase generator – Become an instant expert

November 3, 2009 by Jonathan  
Filed under Management

We live in an age where anyone can be a guru – just because they say they are.

“Hey, look at me – I have been doing this for 2 years and I can now do it with no stabilisers (training wheels? if you are in the US) – Aren’t I great?”

And using long words and phrases just reinforces this point.

(Audience think – “There is a long phrase there which I don’t quite understand so this guy must be clever because

1. He says he is and

2. I don’t understand what he is saying).

But is it a case of the emperor’s new clothes?

For those who don’t know – The emperor’s new clothes is a fairy story whereby the emperor commissioned a series of clothes to be made. The crooked tailors, took the money and gave him nothing in return, saying that anyone who truly believed the clothes were made of gold would indeed see gold, and those who didn’t believe would think the emperor was wearing nothing at all.

Of course, there were no clothes – the tailors had just taken the money – But no one dared tell the emperor this and he paraded through the streets in the buff until a small boy shouted out that it was all a big con.

So what’s all this got to do with buzz phrases?

Well, if you fancy yourself as a guru but don’t know where to start, just consult the table below. Take one word from each column, first, second and third and there you are, instant expert.

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3
Integrated management options
Overall organisational flexibility
Systematised monitored capability
Parallel reciprocal mobility
Functional digital programming
Responsive logistical concept
Optimal transitional time-phase
Synchronised incremental projection
Compatible third generation hardware
Balanced policy contingency

“Balanced management options anyone”?

jonathan The buzz phrase generator   Become an instant expert If you liked this blog post, sign up for loads of free goodies not published here including a completely free online training course.
 

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