We live in an age where anyone can be a guru – just because they say they are.
“Hey, look at me – I have been doing this for 2 years and I can now do it with no stabilisers (training wheels? if you are in the US) – Aren’t I great?”
And using long words and phrases just reinforces this point.
(Audience think – “There is a long phrase there which I don’t quite understand so this guy must be clever because
1. He says he is and
2. I don’t understand what he is saying).
But is it a case of the emperor’s new clothes?
For those who don’t know – The emperor’s new clothes is a fairy story whereby the emperor commissioned a series of clothes to be made. The crooked tailors, took the money and gave him nothing in return, saying that anyone who truly believed the clothes were made of gold would indeed see gold, and those who didn’t believe would think the emperor was wearing nothing at all.
Of course, there were no clothes – the tailors had just taken the money – But no one dared tell the emperor this and he paraded through the streets in the buff until a small boy shouted out that it was all a big con.
So what’s all this got to do with buzz phrases?
Well, if you fancy yourself as a guru but don’t know where to start, just consult the table below. Take one word from each column, first, second and third and there you are, instant expert.
| Column 1 | Column 2 | Column 3 |
| Integrated | management | options |
| Overall | organisational | flexibility |
| Systematised | monitored | capability |
| Parallel | reciprocal | mobility |
| Functional | digital | programming |
| Responsive | logistical | concept |
| Optimal | transitional | time-phase |
| Synchronised | incremental | projection |
| Compatible | third generation | hardware |
| Balanced | policy | contingency |
“Balanced management options anyone”?
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The buzz phrase generator - Become an instant expert
Can I be Overall Organisational Concept please. Great post Jon :-)
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Patricia WeberTwitter: patweber
Just 2 years and you get to claim expert? Wish I had known that about 20 years ago. From your table, I’m claiming – Overall Organizational Capability. I think that does it – makes me an overall expert.
Thanks for the fun post Jonathan.
Helen
Ooh can I be systematised management options lol, mind you I’ve no idea what it means but I’ve been doing it for two years now! Great blog post’
Jos
ParallelTransitional Capability. PTC . Yep I have that!. Ever since I was a young kid I was wondering what is it that I have. Now I know! PTC I am the Guru on PTC.
Great fun this is!
Jonathan
Jos – I think parallel transitional capability (for males) is to make a cup of tea and beans on toast ready at the same time aka multitasking.
LadyBizBiz
LOL! Jon – You missed something out of the ‘Parallel, transitional, capability’ skill-set – washing up after you’ve made the kitchen look like a bombsite! LOL!
Re: Super Ninja #LinkedIn Profile – Brilliant Concept ! I see 100′s of people who need your help every day in my line of work!
Thanks for featuring our lovely team member @GowerBizAngel recently. Much appreciated.
Jonathan
Rhianne – How you doing ? Long time no speaky.
You know people who need help? (seriously) send em our way…
Oh and Happy New year
Sarah CruickshankTwitter: SarahCru
Can I be Overall Organisational Concept please.
Great post Jon